path of my life ...

Wanna be a good girl and a happy life that i will never regret ...

Life is so short, and we tend to be very greedy and wanna learn as much as possible in our life. Me, is one of those greedy folks. A 20 years old girl who is in the blossom age, full of curiousity. Curious about life, curious about sex, curious about relationship and curious about human behaviour and curious about why god created us.

Why god created us? For the seek of satisfy his loneliness in the heaven? and thus he created us to be his toys? However, things doesn't turn out well where eve nad adam dissappoited god and punish them to suffer in the earth. These is the only reason that i could found in the bible. However, buddhist explain it as a nature of he universal and they talk about life circle. YOu will be reborn as a new animal (whether as a human or an animal) . But according to the bible, god said we will either enter into the heaven or hell.... but my question is -  would the hell overwhelm with the bad spirit as god keep creating people and people tend to be so evil and disqualified for the entry into heaven... Oh oh !!!! I guess the hell is having a serious traffic jam and ghost starving for food and flying here and here nakedly..... A terrible place !!!

I don't know whether i will enter the hell or heaven. What in my thought now is - i just wanna to enjoy my life yet make my life meaningful. I wanna to have a wonderful life which full with multicolor. I don't know whether my life will leave a legency, but i am sure that as long as i am avoid from doing bad and try do do good, i have accomplish my responsiblity toward mylife. I must take care of my self , make my self healthy, feed my soul with the spiritual food , feed my body with nutricious food, knowledge and  entertainment.

Yet... why our soul always feel the loneliness and emptiness which make us feel frustrated, dissatisfying and sad about our life. when we review our life, we have a healthy body, a proffesional job with stable income , a loving family and thousand of friend. God had blessed us with trillion of blessing since we were born. God give us everything to make sure we able to survive in the earth, however god do not provide the spiritual food for the soul. what is the spiritual food ? How to satisfy my soul? how to make it grow as healthy as my body? 

It was so hard to make my soul grow, it seem stagnant and stay in the infant stage and it will alarm us when we are down. Somebody said religion is the best place to install your soul, that the best place to feed your soul with all the spiritual food. You sacrifice your life and commit yourself in becoming the servant of god. You spread the good news of god and bring more and more people into god kingdom. You become more down to earth, humble, honest and lovely.

But how do we balance our self in succeed in career and also religion? what is the best way to have the best achievement in life and soul? We suppose to be happily serve in the ministry of god , but we always full with tears due to the dissapoinment from other believer , we always feel dissapointed from the failure of bringing the people into god's kingdom. We have to pray and fast so that god can help us up.

God .. I am actually very confuse... I wanna be a good girl but there are too many barrier and fear in my heart. I am confuse with the purpose of my life... Seek for love , peace and faith.. I can do it without serving into the ministry. I can help others in the social community.... God ! Please show me the way!!! I just wanna be a good girl and a happy life that i will never regret....